its not funny anymore, my act is falling apart. im losing appetite, my SH thoughts are getting louder and louder, i can't remember people's faces easely, im having suicidal thoughts (tho im not planning to die), the signs are getting obvious, people are noticing and i HATE IT, im getting numb and i feel like everyone hates me and i deserve it, like im genuely such a horrible bitch who doesnt deserve love nor care, its drowning me and i hate it, i hate myself.