This whole week at bedtime when I try to rest I've been increasingly losing control over quick breaths and sobs which I have no idea where they're stemming from. This has been happening more and more for the last few nights. The other night I completely lost control of my composure and proceeded to helplessly sob and laugh hysterically at the same time for nearly an hour. I have no idea what it was. That's never happened before no matter how low I've been. I physically couldn't stop myself from losing it all over again whenever I tried to quiet down. I feel crazy like I've finally lost it. Im terrified and I don't have anyone to reach out to whom I trust enough with this struggle. I'm tired. I'm so tired of everything. I feel like something's wrong with me sometimes. My heart aches. My soul is tired. I'm cracked at the edges and I don't know how much longer it might be until the walls fall and I can't stop it anymore. I don't want people to worry about me. Especially the ones I love