college is a fucking scam. there's no fucking reason i should have to pay $1200 of money that i don't have as a 19 year old trying to balance helping my parents out financially and paying them rent at the same time because the college decided to refund the $1100 i had already paid due to their own mistake. i can't access the refunded money of course, since a refund that large can't go through that quickly, and with admission having started yesterday it just feels hopeless. i can't even as much as ask the financial aid office for guidance because i get an automated response saying that they're busy and unable to reach out at the time, which is total bullshit. if you are going to play with students' finances and their literal futures, you should have enough people and time and should have done enough preparation to attend to said students' needs. i've worked so hard to get to where i am and to think that it would be taken because of something i can't control makes me feel hopeless.

i dont know what i want to do with my life, i want to quit my degree but im almost done, only three more months to go, but i dont see myself working in this area and it is taking a huge toll on my mental health just having to go to my internship everyday. i am so unhappy but i dont have a plan b, i have no ambitions or passions so im just completely lost. i have a couple friends, no boyfriend, my family is always disappointed in me, i feel useless and worthless. im not alive for myself, i am simply living for my friends and family. plus therapy is expensive (im on sertraline)

im actually going to die bru i was literally just trying to go out of my class to talk to my math teacher about doing my task and this bum ahh 2nd teacher for the class before math kept asking dumb questions i literally told her i wanted to go and ask my math teacher whose class is ACROSS the 2nd teachers class and she asked why? and why i couldnt tell my math teacher on Thursday. maybe because Thursday was 4 days ago and i wasnt ready to do my math task are you dumb? bru get a grip and she also doesnt even teach whats the point of being a teacher if you dont teach might aswell quit! school would be better if she quit bru. AND when i went to math teachers room he wasnt even there it was a sub teacher BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO otw to kms