Bro kuch dark baat karni h

I have a lot of overdue assignments but I can't find the energy to do them. I have been thinking a lot about my grades, they are okay for now but I haven't been able to find the energy to actually put in effort. I am worried about being the failure of my family because my siblings are awesome and smart. One of them has their masters, and another one has their PHD. At school my friends are always getting good grades at everything. I often feel that I can't measure up. At the moment it is currently 11:00pm and I should be sleeping because I have school tomorrow and I haven't had good sleep for the fast week but I tried doing my homework and I ended up writing a paragraph about how I am a failure, and now I am writing on this. I am just going to go cry for about an hour now.

People need to tell her not to bother me not look at me like I have problems.She talks to me, she needs to shut the fuck up and kill herself. I did everything but she bothered me before. I hope she dies and goes to heaven because she is the one who wants to go there and I won't fucking miss her because I never loved her. I am glad my sister tried to kill herself in the past. She told me she did. I was laughing on the inside. I wish she died because she is nothing but a burden for me and she is nothing but a problem.