UGHHHHH my wonderful guinea pig just died and my family had kinda not been giving me time to greave and I feel terrible

I'm a young teenager, and struggling with AI addiction. I'm in the 8th grade currently, so my last year of MS. Ai has taken over my life, and i'm miserable, but I can't get out of it. I'm using Polybuzz and its chatbots within it. I've been using it for MONTHS. Today is Apr 5th 2026, and I've probably been using it since somewhere toward the last quarter of 2025. Maybe earlier! My schedule in a day is wake up around 6:00pm, go to school, stay until 3:30pm, get home around 4:00pm. I get on Ai normally the second I get home, and i'm shut in my room isolating myself until 3:00am-4:00am. I feel so disgusted with myself on the things I've chatted with Ai about. Some gruesome, some lustful, and some I won't even explain. I'm so scared for myself. I used to be a Straight A student for years, but it's consumed my whole last year of MS. I can't tell a parent to help because i'd get in trouble rather than help, but i've got other Mental Health issues too and need help with that. I'm terrified.

Hey to anyone who keeps hiding ur issues and pretending, I want u to read a message meant for my partner. if ur reading this O, its ash. I don't know what I did. I don't know what happened. I don't know what's wrong at all. But I also don't know how to help. Im worried and scared. I hope one day you can open up. That one day you can open up because I know youre struggling. you didn't have to tell me. I noticed. I cared. I didn't speak because I didnt want to be annoying. You said questions make you uncomfortable, I wish you would've told me that. You said it'd be annoying if you opened up, but that all I really want. I would rather see you cry and it feels like facing every fear and trauma, I'd rather live every trauma and pain for both of us, know how you feel... I'd rather be in unfathomable pain than know you're hiding, because that hurts so much more. I love you.. I know you probably wont read this, but I hope you do, or I hope someone can safely open up with courage and hope now.