Im telling you all this right now if no one else has. If you're here now or later, doesn't matter when, you're strong, you're trying, you're doing good. You deserve grace, empathy, and a break, you're not weak, you're not useless, you're not unlovable, you are loveable, strong, and useful. Don't tell anyone or your mind tell you otherwise. If you can get help, if you can't get help, try journaling, venting, taking it one step at a time. I know it's hard, I'm going through it too. But you and I deserve help, love and support and that's why this space is here. Take it from me someone who's been up and down and has stayed down for a while. Look at it like waves, it comes and hits, and then it goes, and then there's the next one, and the next one. Learn the motions, understand where it comes from, when it comes, whats triggering it, and do your best. It's okay to take a break from being strong.

I feel like I could do it if I just had someone by my side. Like I feel as if I could handle it, breathe a bit more, try a bit harder. If someone could just do the comforting part. It drained me to be the worker and the comfort last night and tonight I have to do it again. I cried hard today, so hard, put off important deadlined tasks because of anxiety, and I'm doing it alone again now. I'm afraid I'll break one of these days, I've had nervous breakdowns, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, meltdowns, mental breakdowns, exhaustion breakdowns, been filled with fatigue. And of course I'm trying again.

I'm feeling very restless right now and stressed, I think I know the reason but I feel like 'the problem' is not a big deal! Hence y I feel a bit stupid for stressing out. I'm trying to take as many breaths as I can hope it works. I used to not take so much stress before after 7 months of attending my new college I feel so defeated and stupid like an idiot cause I don't understand anything everything is so difficult! I should have never joined but the think is I can't even stay at home I want to get a job but I feel like what I'm studying right now you can't get a job on it .... you know if I ever get the genie lamp my 1st wish would not be asking for unlimited wishes but to wish for mastery in very skill and knowledge of everything...I feel like then only I won't feel like a burden to others... well it is a cute wish of mine blthat I know won't come true..