Im telling you all this right now if no one else has. If you're here now or later, doesn't matter when, you're strong, you're trying, you're doing good. You deserve grace, empathy, and a break, you're not weak, you're not useless, you're not unlovable, you are loveable, strong, and useful. Don't tell anyone or your mind tell you otherwise. If you can get help, if you can't get help, try journaling, venting, taking it one step at a time. I know it's hard, I'm going through it too. But you and I deserve help, love and support and that's why this space is here. Take it from me someone who's been up and down and has stayed down for a while. Look at it like waves, it comes and hits, and then it goes, and then there's the next one, and the next one. Learn the motions, understand where it comes from, when it comes, whats triggering it, and do your best. It's okay to take a break from being strong.

I feel like I could do it if I just had someone by my side. Like I feel as if I could handle it, breathe a bit more, try a bit harder. If someone could just do the comforting part. It drained me to be the worker and the comfort last night and tonight I have to do it again. I cried hard today, so hard, put off important deadlined tasks because of anxiety, and I'm doing it alone again now. I'm afraid I'll break one of these days, I've had nervous breakdowns, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, meltdowns, mental breakdowns, exhaustion breakdowns, been filled with fatigue. And of course I'm trying again.

i don't wanna do this anymore. I'm scared. I lied about being strong, I still cry, I still need help. Just pick me up already.. I'm scared.