I'm eleven, almost twelve. my best friend Olivia thinks I'm sooo naive and so does Coco my other best friend. I go to china every summer I was lonely and homesick and longing for human contact because time differences, you know? I went on a kids chatting room. I told them in a casual throwaway comment like you know, just venting and being happy about how the people were so nice. I didn't share any personal information. immediately group chat explodes. lectures. everything. coco told me to tell my mom or she would. Olivia said she wanted to believe I wouldn't do it again but didn't trust me to. her words. last year I had suicide thoughts and one of them was never let anyone in or they will hurt you. I moved on. I was happy, peaceful, so kind to everyone, trusting, I like that. and now...my best friends hurt me. the only ones that can stop me crying. I can't stop crying and I'm scared and hurt and betrayed and I never want to trust anyone again Suicide Me was right, was right, I'm stupid