I don’t feel safe anymore in my own skin. I’m transgender, FTM, and most of my friends know it, but only some of my family knows it; my cousin, my brother, and my brother’s girlfriend. My brother’s girlfriend also has friends that know I’m trans. None of them use my preferred names. The friends that do are going to different schools next year so I have to endure four years without people I know. Every time I look at my body I just want to rip everything feminine off. I like wearing skirts and dresses, I like feminine things, but I don’t like the physical aspect of being a girl. I don’t like that I have minor dwarfism too so I’m small and it makes my chest look bigger then it is, which disgusts me. I have a horrible relationship with my older sister too. Sometimes it feels like she doesn’t even see me as a sister, and definitely not a brother. I want to cry everytime someone calls me a girl, she/her, or my deadname.