My mom was out of town for the day and left me with no food at home. I was waiting all day thinking she would bring something back for me but no. I’m starting to feel like she doesn’t realize I’m a human because she did eat today. And the past few days before this she’s been stopping for fast food for herself during work and I don’t say anything or ask for food because I feel bad since I know she’s having trouble affording things right now. But I’m just sitting here starving and I feel like she doesn’t care at all. I feel too guilty to ask for food but how can you not feel guilty buying food for yourself and leaving me with nothing. Everyone in this house ate today but me and I still feel guilty. I feel bad for even being hungry. I feel like a constant burden and I wish I was never born.
Recent Rants
Abe ja na lwde I have plenty of handsome and good men behind my back. You’re short and ugly ass could never..
Im not a homewrecker. It's hard to let go of something you thought was a talking stage while he had a gf. I hate people. I don't want to hurt someone's relationship but the truth hurts me. Everybody acts like my feelings don't matter because the other two are happy. I feel like I'm always the other woman. The next option. The least likely option out of the multiple choice.this happened Everytime. No. If a girl starts talking to you out of no where like everyday. SHE FUCKINF LIKES YOU DUMBASS I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIENDS I WANT TO BE MORE. AND DONT THINK THAT CUANGES JUST BECAUSE I LIKE GIRLS TOO.
the feeling of being hurt is so damn familiar with me. and yet its like a stake to my heart every time. im suprised theres any heart left. truly. i am. im so emotionless, i hold no remorse, im a terrible human being. and im not just saying this. morally, i am not a good person. im rude. i mock. (regardless if i can control it or not) im selfish. i dont know why people are still friends with me. i say shitty things as jokes. i downplay people as jokes. people say im so sweet. you can ask any of my friends. theyll say im kind and funny. period. because thats what i am to them. im the person you can talk to about your ex, your problems, your health, anything that troubles you. people come to me. people trust me not to say anything to anyone. simply because i couldnt care less. sure i sympathize/empathize, and listen of course. but im also the comic relief. i make jokes alot, to make people feel better, because sure. im a good person for compassion and comfort, but not as me.
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no one ever loves me and cares about me. no one knows me. i'm so weird for stalking i guess my ex repost and this one other girls repost. i'm so weird. bye. someone talk to me. i'm retiring the old navy clothes.
I liked this guy. Found him on my old Schools Instagram. He's a hot. And sweet. He lied my ex best friend. And me. But he wanted to like me more than her. We planned with date. Then he had a mental episode and it never happened. This was in June. In july, we reconnected and talked, saying we didn't like each other. Neither of us were convincing. I get ghosted again. Try texting a different guy. He responds. Find out from my other ex best friend he has a girlfriend. Here's where today comes in. I don't feel the rejection until weeks later or a day later. And it HIT a day later. When he followed me on insta. And a week from that, IT HURTS. I even texted him a couple days ago about some stupid couple I saw and hated at a McDonald's. No response. Half my reposts are about him. Idc if he finds out. It's the day before my bffs birthday party and her cousin, the ex bff who told me he had a gf is gonna be there and I'm crying over some stupid guy. I just want to be like my friend with a bf.
Its getting bad again. I thought it was getting better. I thought I could escape..why now..? Why me..?
i'm such a sad person. with sad ideas and thoughts. i want someone to talk to so badly. i want to be comforted so badly. i'm a real fucking bitch!!! why does no one want that !! wtf! im a a real fucking bitch. if u don't want a real fucking bitch wtf do h want then? i don't have think of little fairy tails like getting married and having kids! i'm not fucking childish for not thinking that! i'm a real fucking bitch, none of that shit is going to happen tf. i'm mature asf for not wanting that shit,l. i love all of you deep down! lovedddd**** deep down. i have a weird way of showing it.. but if all of u can come back and talk to me that would be great. because deep down i just need someone to talk to. man fuck love. i use people to get comfort for 20mins then i dip. but then im back cs wtf you're amazing and i talk again. and then i dip. the topics i talk about are real asf.. raw asf. if u can't handle that bitch wtf ur not for me what! i'm such a sad person. with a sad life.
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I want to be free, I want to drift far away where no one can find me. But i dont want to leave my family. Yet they made. me feel this way. What am i supposed to do now. Im ruined. I tried everything to help myself. Yet i dont want to ask anyone for help. I help myself. Goodbye
Why am i not getting the hugs, the kisses, the cheers. I did what i was supposed to. Thats not fair. Will it ever be me?
Maybe it is me. That im the problem. Ever since i was 4 years old. I had this "best friend". Throught our years together, she has taught me one thing. Dont trust everything you hear. She made me learn that lesson. Getting me involved in drama. And I was the victim. All the time. Having to solve the problems that weren't mine at 8 years old. I matured at a very young age, and ever since then, I had trust issues. At a birthday party, I was told to go. I didn't want to go. My "bestfriend" had just left the school, but she was the only person i actually talked to. Yet i was forced to go. Standing beside my dad. And then he asked me "why dont you go play with your classmates" I told him i didnt want to. That i dont talk to them. Then he snapped and told me, "have you ever thought you were the problem, you need to grow up". My heart shattered. My mom had pulled up in the parking lot after he said it. And i ran. As fast as i could. Got in her car and cried. She then kicked me out of the car..
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You know what? I am so tired of people saying either 'AI will take my/your job/jobs' or 'AI is a useless slop machine' when both those views are far too blunt to be useful. For some reason everyone hates me when I say stuff made *with but not by* AI will be superior to stuff made either with AI dependency (usually not high quality or high factuality) or no AI at all (extremely slow). AI is better at producing candidates but not good at telling whether you've made a mistake due to a shallow 'causal worldview' - I use AI a lot, and it tends to make correlation-causation fallacies rather than understanding cause and effect? I am an academic, and I use AI to basically shallowly explore a direction or proof to see if it's fruitful. It's like a sounding line, it (in me experience, which may be limited) doesn't give you a 3d experience, but it tells you how far a rabbit hole goes.
I wanna die. But sometimes I dont. And I feel guilty. And I wish I could just go to sleep and not ever wake up. And I feel like shit. And I can't get out of bed. And I can't eat. And I can't move. And I'm just there. And that's it.
i wish i was as pretty and attractive as my friends, its a humiliation ritual just walking next to them
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It hurts. It hurts so bad. Living. Just existing. And it's cold. So cold. Being alone.
Pressure is taking over my life. Having to get perfect grades, scholarships, top classes, yet, it's all up to me. I can't disappoint my parents. But they dont see what hides behind my smiles. Hidden in the bathroom, silently crying not from pain, but from pressure. From all i'm carrying just to make them proud. Sleeping late at night, waking up early. Losing my appetite. Losing my energy. Yet i still try to show im happy. Trying to show that I dont need help. One time i tried telling my father, Im tired. Im tired from all the programs he is signing me up for that i don't have time to do my actual school work. Then he told me, this is just the begiinning, i need to focus more, i need to continue to work hard. I just sat there. Wondering why I even bothered to tell him. I know he wants the best for me, but I'm out of energy. At night i stare outside my window, zoning out, wondering if i will ever find sleep, wondering if i will ever find myself truly smiling. Its all for my parents.
My boyfriend is abusive and I don’t know want to tell anyone because I’m not ready to leave and they will only judge me and pressure me to end things