All Rants

i hate the idea of work my social anxiety stops me from trying to apply to anything, because i dread the idea of job interviews, and the possibility that even if i did get a job, i might just fuck it all up and be on the receiving end of a bunch of verbal abuse, or get fired i hate the idea of the 9-5 i hate how we have to spend our days slaving away for rich people i want my time and my life to belong to ME and ME alone i hate the very concept of money, hierarchy, and governments because of how it's all a tool for oppression, and how right wing chuds are all too blind and indoctrinated to see the truth i hate humans i wish our vile, wretched species would burn to ashes it'd be faster and more merciful than this slow death that governments, corpos, rich people, and chuds are putting this planet through

I feel like I’m never anyone’s first. I j texted in a gc and got left on opened. I always blame myself for everything and ppl keep making insta posts tagging others when I was there too or they r close to me too. I feel like im always the second option or the leftover for some reason. And idk im just done with everything and high school starting I might have a hard time

I'm unconventionally ugly. You may think there's no such thing, because if you just have enough friends or status eventually you reach a point where people can't stand seeing your face everywhere so they just convince themselves you are "unconventionally attractive". I think I totally bypass that. I have features nobody else has, all thrown together on my face. The result? Boring symmetrical oval eyes with negative tilt plus wide spacing, prominent sized nose from the front and dorito-shaped from the side, and a slightly receded chin. I HATE it. If I was a guy I could just get really rich and stop thinking about my face. But as a (not rich) woman, people probably think I look like some sort of exotic freak. Even my name doesn't fit in. My last name is has "toad" and "chin" in it in English and can't be pronounced without cringing. Even in my country of origin it sounds wrong. It gives me a passive sense of shame about my existence that never disappears.

i’ve felt so alone for so long i’m just trying to get pass this but whenever i’m with someone i seem to mess it up and it scares me maybe i’m always alone because i mess stuff up and nobody wants me ugh i’m so done with everything and everyone, i also seem to say all the time “i wanna go home” even if i am but i think home is not here i just want one real friend who i can TRULY talk to and love but i mess up everytime

I just needed to get this off my chest PS for anybody who's religious don't take this to heart my parents are the worst sometimes I literally think that every word I say to them has to relate to religion today they were arguing with me because I didn't want to get out of the house and go out with them to my aunt's house for context this morning they had left to go to church and I stayed home with my two siblings who immediately started fighting and yelling at 8:00 in the morning until they got home at 1:00 in the afternoon I was tired of them I wanted them out of the house and I said that very clearly they immediately took it that I just hated my siblings and hated my life and that I wanted to be stuck in my room 24/7 I calmly explain to them if that's not the reason I just didn't want to be around them cuz they had been fighting and I was physically tired of them they did not care and when I snap they immediately think I'm possessed even though I'm just trying to talk to them

Guys school is starting in literally 2 weeks for me, I'm so scared because it's like a completely new school, completely new classes, new everything, there's not even an open house, I'm not going to know where to go, my first days are FULL DAYS, and I'm not ready to go back to school altogether because my mental state sucks, AGRAGGGGHHHH I'M GENUINELY SO FUCKING SCARED NONONOOOOOO. I NEED ADVICE BECAUSE WTF WTF I'M FREAKING OUT JUST THINKING ABT IT

Ik what I'm about to say is ridiculous but I can't find a solution, so I'll talk anyway Here in my country there's a university entrance exam, and people make a huge deal out of it. If you guys watch K-dramas, it's very similar,but I'm not Korean. You see how those people in K-dramas go to extra classes after school? It's exactly the same here. So, my parents decided I have to take those extra classes in math and physics (my major subjects)Now I've spent a whole day thinking about the times and which teachers I have to choose, but I'm crying now because I feel so pressured. Every time I suggest a plan to my parents, they bring up money (even though I didn't ask them for it and told them I can study on my own)when they don't bring that up they bring up transportation and my dad says he can't always drive me My mom is pressuring me to choose a specific teacher just because his schedule is "early" tho I prefer another math teacher my bsf didn't help me when i ask for

I fear about the cosmos and the unthinkable fundamentals of how the universe works Having these deep thoughts at the back of my mind that remind me my life i will end one day, but what then? I used to laugh at how simple this question was, how popular it is, but its with reason What happens after death? Im scared its tied with this consciousness of "mine"? That "id" experience everything in an indefinite amount of time and experience every life beyond this one universe It terrified me, that concept. How i couldnt control what could possibly happen after id die The exact reason i live, despite hating it as much Its more than that I hate the concept of me I hate how i cant ever, 100 percent guarantee that im not the only one to even exist, to have a mind of its own These thoughts terrified me because i thought of it as my consciousness forever experiencing everything On its own I dont want to be alone I long for just someone else to be with me

I feel nothing like i wish id be I dont feel great about myself and who im becoming Nobody around that'd actually like, or even acknowledge me for who i am Nothing to live for, no motives to keep trying Just waiting for something to happen to me

Only gave you a second chance cause I pitied you and still do you just guna hurt again but don’t come to me your fucking insecure accusing me of cheating when I never did and you actually did..I’m keeping all the money so just stay away from the only thing ima miss from a when you used to lick my asshole lol

Man some people are just ego maniacs and try to manipulate when they are just stupid. Think I didn’t have people telling me what you were doing your just to stupid. Talking about god hopefully he’ll forgive your dirty ass cause I won’t you’re basically anfucking joke atleast I got money out you..delete the pics and leave me alone don’t want ur dirty ass. Damn I already feel good and stress free

I genuinely cannot handle my life anymore. My family is crumbling, since my parents argue all the time and spoil my little brother, while ignoring me. My mom knows how much I absolutely hate loud noises because of trauma (I grew up with my parents yelling at me) and yells at me on purpose, ignoring my problems and saying it's my own fault for not listening to them. My girlfriend is just perfect, but I'm 90% scared she'll leave me eventually like everyone else has (2 girlfriends and 5 friends) and is so shy she doesn't even acknowledge me at all in public, plus whenever we do go out somewhere private, it's either my grandma's house, or my house, where my parents always attempt to make us join whatever they want to do. But I don't trust my dad ten feet of distance from her (we're both 15. My dad stares girls my age and even younger down like they're meat. He's 50), and there's nowhere else to go because she also has strict parents. I'm genuinely useless, I have nothing but her.

should i feel resentful that my best friend sexually assaulted me? they're remorseful but i feel like i can't blame them. i get where it came from, and i feel like i have no rights to be angry or anything. i can't help but think if it was even that bad.

ive been spiraling ever since my dad talked to me about philosophical stuff and it puts my brain in a state of limbo of some sort where it constantly tries to understand something it cannot comprehend at all and it's really fucking me up. I wish i was stupid so i wouldn't care or understand. so many people live obliviously and clearly they seem happier with their lives. It doesn't matter, I'll forever exist one way or another in the confines of this universe but does existence even exist? even if i die it wont matter. its not bad or good. everything is neutral. good and bad doesn't truly exist does it? i want to kill myself already. maybe i'll be dead in two days or maybe this week, this month, this year. who knows. i don't know.

I've been looking for a job for over 2 months now. Yesterday was the final nail in the coffin when I got rejected my Amazon. FUCKING AMAZON. Those mfs hire anyone with a pulse. Am I that fucking worthless I can't get a job. moving fucking boxes around??? Life has been shit for several years now. I'm tired of hoping. Tired of striving for something that was promised but isn't there. I wanna end it. Tips on how?

Why do I end up over analyzing everything you say? It’s terrible for my mental health. I wish you would stop talking to me. In our early days, I always tried to talk to you but you had no interest. Now you want to talk but we no longer have anything in common. It just does not work. Forcing it makes it worse. So stop.

My mom wont allow me outside I have no friends im homeschooled i cant even take out the trash cans alone she’s suffocating me and now that im talking about college she’s freaking out and im so tired i dont think i can wait till i turn 18 i dont want to do this anymore it hurts too much im so alone

Guys im lowk struggle to find out what my gender identity is. I know I'm bisexual but I just don't feel like a woman or man but I also don't feel like I'm non binary. I just kinda feel like I exist with no gender I'm not sure though. What do you guys think?? -LG

My friends don’t give a shit about me except for one I threw up all over my friends apartment hallway because like I was greening out and i didn’t even feel it coming it just started yk And now she’s ignoring me which i get it like id be upset too but she never even asked if i was okay or if i needed like water or something when before it happened i was visibly not okay Only one of my friends asked if i was okay after over text If this happened to my friends i would have asked if she was okay or if she needed water or anything because i care I want new friends idc if it’s one or two i just need new friends who actually care as much as i do

You say your word doesn’t matter when it comes to talking to sales people. If your word don’t matter to one type of people then it don’t matter to anyone including your family. Why would anyone believe what you say when you keep going back in your word. You’re just all big talk and no action. A selfish cheap words coward.