All Rants

Im ready to just give up, no matter what everything is always my fault, yet I'm never able to express my feelings without them becoming invalidated by someone just because it's an inconvenience to them.....yet they say they love me...... I'm burnt out with my life I just want to be happy....

how i interact with society and my friends in general

Crabby the dogs were all this in that and another thing all excuses, and I don’t know anymore what should I do? I’m sorry if it’s long ( this is the last part of what I am trying to say i need help I do not know what to do

bags by tomorrow morning of all my stuff that I don’t want I don’t have that much stuff already and I don’t get how they want me to just sit there and throw it all away like for the past like three or four years I have been asking them politely hey Mom, can you just go through my stuff real quick? Get all the junk and stuff out so then I sit there my room and go through it from there, so like oh yeah, yeah yeah sweetheart, I will don’t worry about it when you go to your grandmas I will love you good just go back to your room try to get your bed done and whatever else you can before you go at that point I’m like yeah okay thank you can you please make sure it actually gets to it though like what do you mean? I’ve always gotten into it and I’m just meant to be sitting here like yeah sure, okay but then they proceed to say oh yeah, (when I come back), oh yeah Jerzey, sorry I couldn’t get to your room today. It was hectic. It was busy and your brother was in a bad mood. He was cranky. Crab

There's a girl at school I have a huge crush on but we barely talk and she's always with her friends. We used to talk on the way home when it was rainy weather but not it's sunny and her friend is always with her so I can't even talk to her anymore.

I can’t do this anymore because how I feel is that I am the mess up kid I can’t win with my room I can’t win with my grades I can’t do anything at this point like I am see that my room has stayed the way that it is because no one has entered my room so I have come to the conclusion that my parents my brother and my little brother ( yes ik he is 1 but like seriously) and my parents roommate has yes help me 2 times to get progress in my room but it is like on one cares about anything that I do at this point in time ( well besides yall) but the worst part is my neighbourhood friends are moving. They’re mad at me cause I can’t go out and play because people keep on sabotaging my room to the point where I just have given up trying to clean it now my parents are mad at me and they’re trying to throw everything in a dumpster and rent a storage unit to throw it all and at this point I don’t know if I should just stop or break down crying finally and beg them to help me they want six trash bag

I can’t do this anymore

i hate this bro i hate hating myself i hate who i ve become i hate how my only way of coping is cutting myself and music i want to live to have children and live by myself and finally eat what i want and to be free but i want to die i dont think i can live like this anymore

idk why but i cant do anything without a constant need to worry abt my situations for example i'd be playing chess but i would be a nervous ball of wreck thinking about my progress or my driving test in a few days i hate having this type of mindset but I cant help it no matter how much I admire or follow those people with the "growth mindset" It seems to me I cant get the anxiety off my chest

I'm so mad right now I feel like I can't think straight and it hurts so much. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and OCD along with my preexisting anxiety, and it's like I can't form a single coherent thought. All of these ideas and things I need to do are bouncing around in my head and I just want to scream. I need to do so many things but I can't engage and feel like I physically cannot do anything about it. I miss when life was simple and it didn't pain me to think for too long. I wish i had a normal brain and could focus and just listen for one goddamn second because my brain is so screwed. I wish that life didn't suck and for one second I could be happy and get out of my head for longer than 5 minutes. I wish my parent's cared enough to do something about it and that I wouldn't have to live sitting in pain and silence that I cover up with jokes and pretend that everything is fine and I'm not dying to escape to some far off place where I could just be happy. i wish for so, so much.

fuck, i feel so lost and tangina my prof messaging me why i didn't go to his class. we ran out of food, so my lunch is what we need to sell to buy our dinner. fuck. i should've filed that LOA and start working instead of dealing with people in school. but damn, i'm already here, so i'll just do my best and make up for it..

I feel like I can't have nice things. Why can't I fall in love like everyone else? Why is every moment of connection followed by intense anxiety? I just want to be happy, now I feel miserable and regretful again! I don't know how it started, I don't know how to fix it, I just know I hate this feeling.

its so tiring having 2 parents that piggyback off eachother and dont listen to you and everything u say is weong and that ur supposed to shut up regardless of how many insults they throw at u.

Hey, I genuinely feel so stuck in my relationship and i dont even know where to start. I dont know what to do and I just need someone to talk to me. I feel so lost and any advice would help me wallahi

It's my life. Why should me dying and not dying is being controlled? If I wanna end my life, that's totally on me. It's my free will. If we have the free will to live, we should have the free will to exit whenever we want! Besides, the world is no better place. If we live, we die mentally. If we die, we die mentally and physically too right? And that's what I want for myself. Why is that will, taken away from me?

I didnt have a bad day, things just hit harder for some reason

I am planning to leave my fat, neckbearded, loser landlords as they're holding me back from cooking for myself and actively hinder my progress while stealing my food. They're even doing bitch shit like "I'm sorry IF I stole your food" except his girlfriend already confirmed he stole my food and "got confused". I'm only scared they'll retaliate as I send them my self-30-day-notice and intended final day of rent. If there's no trouble terming my tenancy here so I can go to a place where nobody steals my food or knocks on the bathroom door at 1am, I'd be so happy. I am conflicted though, as my new landlord will be more strict and will divvy the utilities between us, but at minimum, it's 50 bucks less than what I'm paying for now, and the place is pristinely clean.

today is one of those days where it just was not your day, and what a better way to finish it than by breaking my fucking glasses. cant catch a fucking break fml

fuck my life i guess

There is a beautiful, dark skinned, almond-eyed lady at work that seems to like me and I really want to reciprocate that to her. She seems to give tons of attention to minor details like me wearing my clothes correctly and me exercising again. It's weird, and I even gave her a speech about bringing energy to and from work, and she got smooth with it and turned it back to her and I. Now I did complement her figure, and I notice she's eating fresh fruit, and she's wearing similar colors to me and wants me in every place she wants me. The biggest thing is she fixed my collar in front of my boss. That's a bit weird and it makes me focus on her a lot. I'm not planning to mix honey and money, and she's a boss lady at work. It's puzzling to me.