All Rants

i will never understand neurotypical people. my mom got this big photo for my grandma and it looked high quality and really nice, ig she wasn't expecting it to look like that. so i said "it's so high quality!" cause that's what i was thinking? and she paused and went "...well i think its a little blurry." i said it looked good blablabla whatever. few minutes later im omw to leave the room and she says "when you said it looked high quality i thought you were being a smartass" ?????? when i was being genuine and didnt even sound sarcastic? (i try heavily to focus on how i sound when i say things around neurotypicals) ts pmo

I feel so frustrated with myself, I have never had friends till I moved to this country and made some friends in uni. I sabotaged those friendships and haven't been to uni much since last September bc of this. It feels like now everyone thinks I have a problem.

It bugs me so much when people judge my lifestyle choices e.g. not having a big wedding or even getting married, not having kids, not looking to settle with the one but rather just live life as it comes until it stops and follow my heart. I actually find the huge focus on getting married, the wedding industry, having kids, the conveyor belt of expectation if you will, to be deeply bizarre, sometimes disturbing and often reducing people to traditional harmful gender roles but I obviously don't say so because I don't like to shit on things that make other people happy. I'm happy, so I don't see why the urge to shit on my choices is so rife amongst family, some friends etc. I'm chilling, what's the problem? Why am I to be pitied if I don't spend over a grand on a white dress I'll wear once

some guy I've been talking to for a longg time decided to unfollow me EVERYWHERE and when I dmed and asked why he never replied and I am genuinely so sad and stressed I can barely function cause I genuinely trusted him so much eventho I don't trust people that easily and its just so hard I can barely study/focus or do anything. I did try to reach out I even sent a little text explaining that I'll always be with himand he can talk to me any time he wants but of course he didn't reply probably didn't even see it he promised me he wouldn't just leave so sad:( I can barely study or focus on stuff that are actually helpful to me any tips?

my parents are disappointed because i went out and didnt tell them, even though i didnt drink alcohol or dance or anything, we literally played cards and drank fruit juice. i feel like lately everything is going wrong, i dont even feel guilty or anything, i just feel empty and i dont know what to do. i have so many feelings that im not allowed to show, so many thoughts and words unsaid and i dont know what to do with my life anymore. ive lost all my passions and i keep pretending that im fine so much that the only moments im myself is when im in my room alone with no one watching and i dont know how to stop. ive got these two guys stuck in my head and i dont know how to get them out, i dont know how to stop thinking. i dont know how to control my emotions and because laughing and smiling are my defense mechanisms everyone thinks im happy but i actuallly feel dead inside. and i cant even go to a therapist because im not allowed to . i feel so stuck and theres nothing i can do.

I had a friend who tragically passed from gun violence in 2021. This person meant so much to me and I’ve recently found out that I am pregnant and I’ll be naming them after my friend. It has brought up a lot of emotions and because of how violent the crime was it’s really hard for me to talk about them because what happened to them is so far from how they were in life. I get bouts of feeling so angry and also being so sad that I get choked up and cry at work even now. Having someone you care for so deeply pass and the world just keeps going on and nobody talks about them is something that has been so difficult about the grieving process.

im tired of life I just want to disappear to be honest

my dog died my gf broke up over text she was cheating on me with my best firend that ive had for 9 years

im sick of living in a neighborhood where hispanic and black people blast their music for people to hear. every year, i get angrier and angrier at these people and i cannot wait to move out and leave these disgusting people. the fact that i cannot enjoy silence in my own house without someone next door, across the street, or from another street altogether playing their music and being audible to me is ridiculous. this is not how people should live. it's a lack of shame, consideration, and respect.

Had a fight with my husband yesterday. Some random minor useless fight and we fixed it up too the same day. Then today morning, started with another fight regarding a small thing. He raised his voice and that made me angry. So one thing lead to other, and it became a huge fight. Now, after he left, I started crying uncontrollably. And it wasn't mostly about the fight. It started off with the fact that none of my family members check up on me after I married off to a different household, none of my friends check up on me, I am gaining weight day by day, I have this severe back pain that just doesn't let me sit or walk or stand or do daily stuff properly, I resigned my job and ever since I've been struggling to land one, moved across the globe only to feel alone most of the days, my only contact was my dad and now that he is no more, I'm lost. I hate that I don't have someone to guide me through, I don't know what to do, I studied cs but I can't seem to excel and can't remember stuff TBC

I feel unwanted and alone when it comes to finding a partner. I see friends and family going on dates and all. And I avoid comparing myself with others. But the fact that I've been online dating for half a year now and can't find a date or partner. No one wants the nice guy. And I feel exhausted and drained from everything. I want a partner to feel loved but I'm not desperate enough to jump to the first person I met. I'm too shy to talk to random people, especially to ask them on a date.

it's my mother yesterday when i tried to share things with her she started talking about how will i study...it made me feel unheard She put it on me like i was hr one blocking her from talking to me ...I was very angryi thought she would at least pity me but she didn't..And my father.. i'm a hijabi so i can't show skin pf my body, then i wore a short sweater and it was very hot out, when i lift my arms it shows skin, i inteded to cover it with a tissue of the hijab , my father told me to wear something under, i said i can't cuz it's too hot and i will make sure nothing shows, he got angry at me and shut down but later told my mom then today i was speaking to her at breakfast, and she mentions (again) that girl first in my class, and was saying she's so skinny, she always say she's skinny or idk because she study a lot so i got angry at her mentioning this and told her to stop talking about her, she got angry again and started really comparing me, she also said tha

ISTG I cant take this anymore, like why does everything I do have to live up to your standards, huh? like why am I the problem? It's my fault I relapse, yeah, but do you gotta make me wear short sleeves to show it off like some sort of badge? Like yeah I get I suck...

I'm so stressed over my math class, school is almost over, and I transferred end of 3rd quarter, so I have to do a semester's work in one quarter...It isn't enough time and I have this boyfriend who is so loving and supportive, but at the same time, he is kind of my biggest supporter rn and I feel guilty like I'm dragging him down with me...

Bitches! Shut… the… lights… OFF!

She asked me why my hair was grayer than hers when we are the same age… I should have told her “the same reason you are growing that big gut while mine is staying flat”.

God bless yoga pants… …most of the time…

Some people won’t take a goddamn hint. Nobody answers your phone calls and you keep told to stop touching them…

I just brought up my trauma for the first time with my boyfriend. I’ve been assaulted multiple times by my exes in bed and I never realized it up until I brought it up to my friend a month ago. Ever since, I just want nothing to do with sex. Or anything at all. Sex doesn’t work for me unless I’m alone. I feel bad. I recently found out he’s been watching p0rn to get off on his own, during the weeks I don’t have sex with him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to watch that because they’re all so unrealistic and I can never meet that standard. I feel lesser than. But I also don’t know how to have sex without feeling used. He was wonderful and comforted me and told me he didn’t need any of it and that he could wait and not do anything. I just know that he’s going to turn to p0rn eventually I’m not sure if I should just suck it up and have sex so he doesn’t watch that stuff or not. When I brought it up, he even joked about me being ‘terrible at sex’ which really didn’t help.

OMG this is a continuation of rant somewhere here BUT I JUST REALIZED MY FRIEND HAS BOTH ANXIOUS AND AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT ISSUES??? IDK BUT THE PATTERN IS REALLY SHOVING IT TO MY FACE. LIKE SHE ANNOYED ME SO MANY TIMES THAT I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HER AND SHE’LL BE SAD ABOUT IT BUT WHEN I NEED HER, SHE SHUT ME OFF BCOS SHE DOESN’T HAVE THE “MENTAL CAPACITY”???? dawg she even said corny shi like “tch maybe i’m a changed person, you don’t know me after all” genuine who tf would say that like ok deku 🥀 sorry for yelling in text CUZ I NEVER HAVE A FRIEND WHOS LIKE THIS AT ALL AND I’M GENUINELY GOING INSANE BCOS OF HER