I am 18 my birthday is February 3rd 2008 and I am in love with a 41 year old man. I know he's js using me for my body but I’ve never truly been loved the way he's loved me well i guess I see him as a dad or I want him as a dad and I mean hes balding or almost bald and he takes me to a forest were we sleep and camp out and do harsh drugs and I’ve been doing drugs for awhile since I was 15 so im used to them and I call him dad and act like a child because I was never allowed to act like a child when I was a child and he pets me kisses me hugs me says all the right things but he also has sex with me… I love him I think I mean I can’t stop thinking about him and HES 41.. idk what to do I mean I do but he makes me smile every time I think of him hes smart and teaches me stuff but maybe I miss the drugs or the thought of him because he usually had sex with me we smoke drugs i start tweaking out then he acts as if I’m nothing he’s coming again today idk..