Having lots of friend's sucks, don't get me wrong it's great, wonderful even! But lately, I've started to sort of get ignore by each friend I have. Not one messaged is answered till hours later right when I'm deep in my feelings. I feel like a ghost, I think I ever been just a ghost from how much I'm ignore. Big friend group or small, I'm always the last person to be remembered or thought of. Like the many times I walk with them whenever gym class comes around, and somehow, I'm always the one walking by myself the with any other person in that friend group of mines. The only other time I ever get to talk with any of them is whenever they need a shoulder to cry on or what to vent about something, yes I do love being there for them. But I hate the fact I'm always second best to everyone they know, and the only time I'm ever seen then being a ghost is during that time, and things would just go back to normal like nothing. I don' want to be by myself, I don't ever want to, and yet I am.