I’m so fucking lonely. I’ve been on the edge for years, here’s the last 6 months. I ended up misusing drugs for a month before I had the worst panic attack ever in a damn science class and quit. Got super suicidal then lost all of my friends, because they ignored me for a month+. Then after hate everything blurred together as I just SH-ed everyday at school and refused to eat, grabbing onto whoever I knew so I wouldn’t have to sit alone, but they wouldn’t talk to me anyways. Somehow got a partner that I can’t handle anymore, and have to break up with now. Overworked myself everyday till summer just to get a 4.0 so I didn’t disappoint anyone. Have all Mormon relatives while living in Utah while being trans, pan and atheist but forced to church. Have a mom that always yells at me over small things and tells me that I’m disappointing and that she “feels bad” for me because I “don’t love Jesus”. While I’m trying to find something so I don’t kms before school starts again like I’ve planned.