I so alone. I have many, many, friends yet i feel like I've never been understood or truly seen by any of them. It always seems like someone only hangs out with me if their main friend is busy, and if it isn't that I practically have to beg people to make plans with me. I'm just so tired of constantly tending to relationships that I'm the only one putting effort into. The few friendships that I've had that the other person did put effort into, they seem to become bored or disinterested in me once I feel comfortable to talk to them emotionally. The same apparent friends I have say they're just busy or whatever yet they can make time for someone else just fine. Maybe I'm better off just being alone. At this point I'm just so tired of putting years into people just for them to toss me aside like an object.