I soft rejected my best friend after he suddenly proposed love to me. I tried a relation, he noticed I wasn't all in, and felt guilty for not saying no outright. Now, I am not sure about how I feel. I might actually like him. He isn't trying anything. I just love the affection he still gives me, I thinks hes really handsome, incredibly creative, and so, so thoughtful. He's so... idk how to explain. And I rejected him in the moment, I wasn't sure how I was feeling. This is messy, and I feel like I have no right to explore here because he is 100% or nothing and I refuse to lead him on any further. I feel like I am oddly longing someone who literally wants me back, I just don't know if I trulu want the same he does. I'm afraid it will judt ruin everything.