The loss of my pets especially the youngest has me feeling intense guilt and grief. The short version of a long story is my cat passed away very old , my other senior dog passed away from ongoing heart issues after years of dedicated treatment . My then only 3 year old dog became ill. His primary vet could only rule out that it was not poisoning and that his health was declining. My family took him to an emergency vet and after exam wanted $10k to do a blood transfusion and another 10k to repeat if the outcome showed improvement. emergency vet refused to give us any kind of confidence on survival and that the other option was euthanasia. We already spent 15k total on other pets, their emergency vet bills and death expenses, and now his emergency visits, we felt pressured into choosing euthanasia as the emergency vet was not confident in his survival and only that he was dying painfully. Choosing to euthanize him after losing two other pets has traumatized me. I can't move on from it.