this is the third time in a few weeks someone close to me has tried to commit. the first time was a couple weeks ago with a really close friend of mine. by the time i got their goodbye text i thought i was too late, and i spent the whole day crying and blaming myself. i had a complete mental breakdown until almost ten hours later they answered from the hospital and said they were ok. the second time was actually early this morning, someone from a gc i knew supposedly commited, but they turned out to be ok. it still hit me hard though. the third time was an hour ago with my best friend since forever. i'm still shaky, and had a bad panic attack but they're getting the help they need right now. i just don't know how much longer i can do this. i feel like im in a constant state of panic and stress, but i simultaneously want to be there for my friends. i don't know, i think i just need a hug