I don't wanna go to school anymore, my heart aches, I can't do this anymore, I'm so scared, and my step dad hates me, I can't do my routines in this state anymore. I can't search for help because it makes me look stupid

I made a mistake, I got overwhelmed with everything going on. Put my problems in my diary, it was a very good place for my unhinged thoughts. Someone I trusted opened it, opened the pages I insulted them in. They violated my privacy, was extremely rude to me and my other loved ones. Most of that diary is about those rude times she had that I had to endure. Now I’m painted as the villain, the hidden mafia, the two-sided one. But everyone who cares about their loved ones very deeply, never slips up, also has this moment where they can’t take it anymore. - BigSisterSyndrome

Another day passes, yet I feel empty inside. I've already failed the people around me, the expectations they had now gone. I looked around, and I'm anything but normal. I got no purpose other than to be a failure at every point of my life. It seems as if I did this to myself. My family isn't great at supporting me, not that I want it anyway. I want love, but I can't have it. I'm stuck in a hole I never thought I'd fall in. I don't see potential or worth in myself, I'm barely passing by in my daily life. I'm likely being dramatic. I'm certainly grateful for what I have, but I'm missing a part of me. A part I lost years ago. Regretting the days that I wronged. I can't change them; they will forever affect me. As much as I hate myself, I can't hate others. It feels so wrong to be mean. I guess people don't see that when they do it to me. I know people have their own problems in life and things to worry about, but am I that worthless?