I skip out on P.E usually cause I’m scared people will judge me and I mostly skip out when teams play against other (big teams, and it’s people you don’t know) I’m just not confident enough and am trying to work on it, but I feel like I will skip out on it forever and then get horrible grades that lead to a horrible future.

I just realized that I'm not for the program that I chose, I dont wanna work in healthcare especially in this country, Im almost finish with my first year with this program and I know that its not that far yet to not change my mind but I think about my mother who worked really hard to pay my tuition how am I gonna tell her that I wanna start again? Im gonna change programs? everthing in this country is shitty, the education system and specially the health system, studying in my program made me realized how unfair it is for the citizens in this country who all paid taxes even if their salaries are already so small yet this country cant even provide proper healthcare and education. FUCK THIS COUNTRYS POLITICAL DYNASTIES, FUCK THE DUTERTES, FUCK THE MARCOSES FUCK THEM ALL. I HOPE SOMEONE JUST BOMBS THEIR ASSES RN. FUCK THEIR SHIT

My mind is so noisy. I just want to sleep, but I still have so much to do. It’s exhausting. I’m really just being dramatic. I act like I’m special. The world doesn’t revolve around me. I thought I was the smartest just because I had achievements, but there are people who are smarter than me. Before, when I heard someone say that so-and-so is smart, I would think, “Really? I’m probably smarter than them.” I’m such an arrogant person. What my dad said was true—that my head would get too big because of the exam scores I got, since I was usually the highest.