Sometimes I wonder why those attempts I made a few years ago never worked, especially if I have to continue living just to be emotionally abused by my mom (her specifically, there's more). I thought I was healing, maybe I am, because after all growth isn't always linear, but it feels so pointless. I hate to sound like a corny stereotype, but nobody genuinely listens to me or understands me. I'm surrounded by fucking idiots all the time who only argue to win or exert power, not to understand or listen. I fight so fucking hard to try and get my mom to listen and see my pint of view, why I say the things I do but that just never happens. I feel like I was meant to be an accessory, not life. Every word I say falls on deaf ears, and I don't have any friends or any type of support system. It feels like it's just me against every single other person. If there's nothing good to come to me why'd my attempts fail? There's no reason they should've if I'm not meant to still be alive, so why am I?