I’m so angry at myself. I love my family, but they are DEATHLY annoying - loud, frustrating, gross. Whenever they leave I feel so much happier, but before my family was annoying they were rude. My little sister was encouraged by my dad to call me rude, evil, ugly. My dad would always say how he wish I were never born or how if he was forced to have a kid, he would pray it wouldn’t be me. He’s nicer now, but I still remember those words so much. How I prayed everyday that he would change, but he never did…still I had hope til I just realized - he won’t change no matter how much I want him to. Now it’s just passed 2 years, I’m still a kid, but he did change somewhat. He doesn’t tell me to die or that I’m worthless, and he even gave me a milkshake today. He’s been nice today, but I can’t help but feel so frustrated, and I just keep remembering his old words of stuff like “You ruin everything in my life!”