i don’t why it’s so difficult for me to keep friends. i dont find making or keeping friends hard but it’s almost like every time i make a friend there’s a point where they drift away; i can’t tell if it’s my fault. i have this really close friend who ive been on and off with for the last 3 years. when we are on we’re ON, then when we’re off we don’t talk for multiple weeks or months. i have a really difficult time when things in my life don’t have a label, when someone isn’t telling me something, jealousy, and just not knowing. so not hearing from this person really scares me, i spiral insanely fast into the “do they not like me? why aren’t they interacting with me? do they like x, y, and x more? did i do something wrong?” and i will just think and think and think. most of the time, we start talking again and then ill be fine i genuinely change my whole mood and personality based off of when me and this person last talked. when we don’t i walk around with a pit of guilt and jealousy.