Why is it so much painful to feel alone. I have friends and family but I always have a feeling of loneliness. I often get described as distant but I dont know how to fix it. I feel unable to share my true feelings to people I love. Maybe because of the fear of my feelings being to much to bear for someone as they are a pain in the ass for myself. Maybe because I dont wanna get judged. Everyone got someone they always lookup to when they're feeling down. I have no one. I have no one to share what I truly feel every day, every pain, every tear I shead, I hide it all behind a mask of myself being happy as always. For the past few years, this problem has been eating my mental state. I feel lonely yet unable to get myself out of it. Im in a loop. My mental state is deteriorating through time. I tried to reach for some professional help in vain. Why do I have to feel like this. I feel like a ghost, a floater friend, a distant memory.