I believe that my friend's death was my fault, they were my first love that I had and we both were so young. We both were online dating on a chat site, we were close and talked to each other every day. But we both were going through stuff. I had to stop them from committing twice, and it started to make my mental health go down each time. I started to isolate myself and have bad thoughts. Though, my family didn't care. Even though I have tried to tell them. But one day, my device got taken away and I couldn't talk to them. And after nearly a year, I logged on and went to our private chat. They said that they were going to commit, having gender dysphoria and other problems. They didn't log on since last December. Now I'm scared to go back on, scared that they will log on and I wasn't there for them again, or log on and they still didn't answer. I wish I was there for them, to be there. But I also feel free, I don't feel weighed down by their problems. I'm sorry, Alton. -ON