not to join the cacophony of, "damn, i wanna kms," on here, but... damn. sigh. im just not really sure what to do anymore. over the past year, i've gotten wombo combo'd by contamination/cleanliness OCD and worsening chronic fatigue (when i was already disabled) so going out for even a day takes all of my energy and then some, knocking me out for a day or two after, and then aggravates my depression instead of making me feel any bit better, but the only way to "get better" is going to be by going out and trying to do all the hard things until something clicks. it's just... it feels useless right now. it doesn't feel like im getting anywhere and i feel like i spend more time not doing anything than i do making progress, and even if i do make progress, what if im still this fucking sick at the end of it? ... i feel like im stuck here. alone. with nobody able to help me. treatment resistant and broke, unable to work. no real passions or motivations. it feels like im already dead.