I know I can love i know I can im in a happy relationship with someone I deeply love for the first time ever I think yet I keep thinking back to when everyone started getting fictional crushes or liking celebrities yet I would look at them I would lie and said I had crushes but really I only ever admired the characters or celebrities whenever I got a new crush as I got older I would realize after time it was a deep friendships I just called a crush because I was scared they would leave I was willing to live forever pretending to love them if they accepted me like that whenever I tried to get off by myself I stop midway through thinking it's stupid sometimes I genuinely think what is wrong with me I love romance I like being intimate but I never truly wanted or felt it until my current relationship i think this one is real which is so much scarier when I never truly felt what I feel before