Fuckkk im tired of everything.. I keep pretending idgaf but deep inside i feel like there is a void thats never going to be filled... not a single soul cares bout my filthy existence but i want to live not for anyone else but myself although i loathe this so called "self" but still there is a part in me which wants to embrace it like a mother does to newborn.... im not doing well w anything im not fit , bad at academics and no motivation to work for no achievementa to show , waste my whole day scrolling like an ape , worrying abt non sensical thing ecen feel like i am sick sometimes and think small changes in my nody is something serious lmao then when i introspect everything seems silly and the whole cycle of self loathing continues... either i break this cycle now or its never gonna happen... i have tried many times but nothing has worked but this time i dont wanna look back i wanna run.. as fast as i can hope i dont look back and give myself up to this void✌️