those were not good years. then i basically ran away overseas, hoping that different surroundings with spark something in me to try to change or at least get out more. and i did kind of get out more, but only to a certain degree. i didn't manage to make friends, though, because i had a hard enough time socializing even in english, no way i could be better at it in a language i barely had a basic grasp of. then i came home and was a layabout. went back to feeling like a lazy loser. finally somehow managed to get off my ass enough to apply to college again. attended for the first semester, then started failing again because i basically never attended classes. had problems with motivation again. lost my scholarship. managed to struggle through enough to stop failing every single class so i never got suspended, but barely made it out with a passing gpa. finally got my bachelor's. lied to everyone that it was my graduate degree because i never told anyone i dropped out of my first school