I'm so incredibly lonely. I'm a seventeen year old girl and have been sheltered by my father for basically all of my teenage years. He cut me off this year after I asked him for freedom to get a job and get my license and strive for more than what he wants me to be. I have only one decent friend and now have a retail job, but I still feel lonely and even more empty-handed now, like I'm just some dumb, socially awkward, anxious, chubby creature taking up space everywhere I go. I desperately want someone who will stay long enough - like my one good friend - to see who I really am once I warm up enough, to see me for my aspirations to be a mother someday and the little hobbies that make me happy. I long for someone to hold hands with, to cuddle with, and someone who will lay beside me at night. I want that so much it hurts. But I feel like no boy could ever find me attractive. I've never had a boyfriend. Never had sex. I rely on grown men online who take advantage of me to fill that void.