i’m genuinely just a horrible disgusting waste of oxygen human being, i don’t deserve the friends i have, why can’t i be perfect like my brother? why can’t i be a normal teenager with normal interests? why do i have to emotionally attached to fictional characters that i know would hate me irl? why do i see a fictional ship as my parents even though once again i know they’d hate me irl? why am i like this? why do i identify with certain fictional characters? i’m not a fictional character, what the fuck is wrong with me? why did i say that joke today? it was so fucking insensitive, i know they forgave me when i apologized i still feel so fucking bad… i don’t deserve anything good that happens to me. why am i even venting about this? my life isn’t even that bad why am i so fucked up? all my friends go through worse things… i wish i could just disappear, not die, just dissolve into nothingness and everyone forgets about me. i’m such an idiot for thinking i could contribute to society…