I can't take it anymore. Life feels like shit and feels so hollow and unfulfilling, and it really felt I wasn't going anywhere with this I felt like there's no direction in life now and the only way out is the internet and spacing out through escapism in my mind as I don't want to face reality anymore

I want to see about getting an assessment/diagnosis but what if the therapist thinks I'm lying and faking it or what if I dont have anything and they think im stupid for even thinking I possibly did or something. Some of my friends think I have autism, my mother asked if I was bipolar a year or two ago, and idk if this is related to anything, but I want to lose weight (im overweight) but I dont even try. I eat whenever im bored, at the mall, near a bakery, literally anywhere that has food i like. The only reason I wont is if I have no money. I will get paid and within 2 days most of its gone, I dont know how im spending it so fast. I dont get paid much but still, I only have to pay my phone bill, so what am I spending money on? Food, snacks, sometimes doordash, random stuff I dont need. I want to exercise but I just wont. The closest thing to exercising ill do is walking around the mall and a shopping street thing. Thats not enough. Sometimes an hour or 2 of just dance.

my mom left me, I have heart problems