Idk what’s happening but everything is falling apart. I don’t want to self diagnose or anything but I feel like I have depression but whenever I start feeling happy or getting better I feel like I’m faking it all for attention. I find comfort in my sadness and I know it’s unhealthy but I do. I like making myself cry at night. If the smallest thing happened I will always overthink it and I end up relapsing. I worry for others more than me but deep down I think I deserve it because I just can’t stop and think about what I bad person I used to be. I have many friends but I only trust a few and the others are all horrible and mean. My friend is struggling a lot and it didn’t help when one of the “close” friends told her to go kill herself. I’m too scared to tell the “close friend” that I don’t wanna be friends since I’m scared of losing people. I also find this girl annoying but I’m too scared to say anything. I sometimes just don’t wanna wake up and I hope something bad happens to me