i dont wanna be here anymore. i cant be here. im always criticized by my family and they get mad when i shut down. i was clean for a few weeks but now im not. i need to leave my family but idk where to run to. god im a pathetic piece of shit, i feel like everything i do is wrong and i cant fix it. why didnt they let me go with the cops like i asked? why did they make me stay in a place they know i dont like? they know i wanna die but they dont do anything to fix it... i might try again, since clearly first time didnt work.. i dont want them to bury their 17 year old daughter but i also dont want to live anymore. i have no friends and the only man who loved me left me. i js wanna go on a walk and be taken.. idc what happens but i js wanna be gone. i cant handle it anymore. i wanna reach out to him and js tell him im sorry..