I HATE HIM. I don't want him to leave me. He can't, he has to stay. Even that, why do I persist he find someone else better.? Someone more stable and happier.? Someone who isn't in constant fear of abandonment and chronic boredom/emptiness. I try to push him away, in hopes, he'll find someone better. But in the end, I come crawling back. I can't stand the thought of him leaving me. I don't wanna be left. I don't wanna be alone. Because he's the only one that understands me the most. He's patient with me. He's even researching about my Mental illness, in hopes he can help me better. I'm happy for that, but deep down, I feel so bad. I wish he didn't he have to go through all this trouble to keep me alive. He has his own problems. I don't wanna add more onto that. Kaiden, my baby boy. I don't know why I'm like this. You need to let me go. You deserve to be happy. I'm so sorry. I won't be here anymore. I love you so much, My Sun to my Moon.