I have severe mental health problems thatI have struggled with for as long as I can remember. I finally got into my dream relationship with my dream person and we are perfect for each other but almost 1 year ago, i, for the first time, almost gave into my intrusive thoughts. I was going through prescribed medication withdrawals + ideations as a side effect from a different one and I was going to end it all. I wanted to leave and make sure that the last impression anyone, especially my partner, had of me, was that I was an evil monster. I almost cheated. I stopped because it didn't feel right. I didn't contact anyone or arrange anything, but the thought crossed my mind. I felt sick. I still feel sick. I didn't even start the process but the fact I was so ready to leave that I considered turning my back on my morals and values, and hurting the person i care more about than anything else in this world, makes me ill to my stomach.