I truly feel I'm not who I should be. I want to be better for the people I love. Today I was selfish and mean, rejecting help from those who wanted to help me, refusing to talk with someone, I feel alone. I want to be able to be happy, to be a loving and sweet person, not the person I became, someone cold and without feelings... I want to change as a person, but it's difficult. I seriously have so many bad thoughts in my head, I don't know what to do...