All Rants

I feel unwanted and alone when it comes to finding a partner. I see friends and family going on dates and all. And I avoid comparing myself with others. But the fact that I've been online dating for half a year now and can't find a date or partner. No one wants the nice guy. And I feel exhausted and drained from everything. I want a partner to feel loved but I'm not desperate enough to jump to the first person I met. I'm too shy to talk to random people, especially to ask them on a date.

it's my mother yesterday when i tried to share things with her she started talking about how will i study...it made me feel unheard She put it on me like i was hr one blocking her from talking to me ...I was very angryi thought she would at least pity me but she didn't..And my father.. i'm a hijabi so i can't show skin pf my body, then i wore a short sweater and it was very hot out, when i lift my arms it shows skin, i inteded to cover it with a tissue of the hijab , my father told me to wear something under, i said i can't cuz it's too hot and i will make sure nothing shows, he got angry at me and shut down but later told my mom then today i was speaking to her at breakfast, and she mentions (again) that girl first in my class, and was saying she's so skinny, she always say she's skinny or idk because she study a lot so i got angry at her mentioning this and told her to stop talking about her, she got angry again and started really comparing me, she also said tha

ISTG I cant take this anymore, like why does everything I do have to live up to your standards, huh? like why am I the problem? It's my fault I relapse, yeah, but do you gotta make me wear short sleeves to show it off like some sort of badge? Like yeah I get I suck...

I'm so stressed over my math class, school is almost over, and I transferred end of 3rd quarter, so I have to do a semester's work in one quarter...It isn't enough time and I have this boyfriend who is so loving and supportive, but at the same time, he is kind of my biggest supporter rn and I feel guilty like I'm dragging him down with me...

Bitches! Shut… the… lights… OFF!

She asked me why my hair was grayer than hers when we are the same age… I should have told her “the same reason you are growing that big gut while mine is staying flat”.

God bless yoga pants… …most of the time…

Some people won’t take a goddamn hint. Nobody answers your phone calls and you keep told to stop touching them…

I just brought up my trauma for the first time with my boyfriend. I’ve been assaulted multiple times by my exes in bed and I never realized it up until I brought it up to my friend a month ago. Ever since, I just want nothing to do with sex. Or anything at all. Sex doesn’t work for me unless I’m alone. I feel bad. I recently found out he’s been watching p0rn to get off on his own, during the weeks I don’t have sex with him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to watch that because they’re all so unrealistic and I can never meet that standard. I feel lesser than. But I also don’t know how to have sex without feeling used. He was wonderful and comforted me and told me he didn’t need any of it and that he could wait and not do anything. I just know that he’s going to turn to p0rn eventually I’m not sure if I should just suck it up and have sex so he doesn’t watch that stuff or not. When I brought it up, he even joked about me being ‘terrible at sex’ which really didn’t help.

OMG this is a continuation of rant somewhere here BUT I JUST REALIZED MY FRIEND HAS BOTH ANXIOUS AND AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT ISSUES??? IDK BUT THE PATTERN IS REALLY SHOVING IT TO MY FACE. LIKE SHE ANNOYED ME SO MANY TIMES THAT I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HER AND SHE’LL BE SAD ABOUT IT BUT WHEN I NEED HER, SHE SHUT ME OFF BCOS SHE DOESN’T HAVE THE “MENTAL CAPACITY”???? dawg she even said corny shi like “tch maybe i’m a changed person, you don’t know me after all” genuine who tf would say that like ok deku 🥀 sorry for yelling in text CUZ I NEVER HAVE A FRIEND WHOS LIKE THIS AT ALL AND I’M GENUINELY GOING INSANE BCOS OF HER

The orange guy in charge must die…

This woman at work is driving me crazy in a good way. So attractive!

I've been dating this guy and we probably rushed into our relationship. Today he asked to walk with me and I joined him. Turns out he wanted to break up with me or take a pause. He said he still likes me but I deserve better and I need someone who can give me what I deserve which he can't do apparently. He said he had unfinished business which confuses me because we'd been dating for more than a month and we were really happy together yesterday. I told him this morning that one of my fav artists released a deluxe version of an album and he said that he would listen to it. This morning I messaged him telling him that I felt really sad and he comforted me a bit over it. Later he told me after he listened to one of the songs it made him think about our relationship and want to break up. I'm just so confused now and it really hurts. I won't even be able to see him for the next three days.

I have no friends. I know people with small amounts of friends say that all the time but I genuinely have not a single friend, unless you count my boyfriend that’s busy on his game talking to his friends 95% of the time. I don’t even have a problem with him, I’m just so sad that I don’t have my own people as well. He is the only person I speak to other then my parents occasionally since I’m an only child, I spend all of my days alone unless I travel an hour on the train to see my boyfriend or I get lucky and he comes to me. I just want my own friends to hang out with I want people to talk to I have to wait many hours, sometimes a whole day, for a reply from my boyfriend and I’m usually just left in my room by myself. Because college takes up most of my time I don’t currently have a job other than art commissions and I only get commissioned like once a month. I just wish I had some friends to talk to or hang with to distract me.

What is his problem giving me the silent treatment fuck it ahhhhhhh..like I messaged my bro saying "eww 🤢" and "bro why so emotional "when I sent photos of me drinking with my buddies and he said ahh my sis grew up after 10 ten years ur husband will play with ur tities so I send that message then he just said talking to feels disgusting and hasn't talked like for 2 days

Why are some people mean? why do they hurt others? "people are a reflection of themselves". So? is that my problem? does that justify your actions? Do you really feel the need to inflict pain upon someone who is already suffering just so you could feel better about yourself? Huh? "I have a troubled past" "i am traumatized" "i grew up in poverty" "i grew up with neglectful parents" there can never be a reason nor an excuse to hurt those in similar situations as you and put them below you so could feel better about yourself. It doesn't make you any better, it just shows how crooked you are.

I’ve already excepted that she used me, my home, my food, my drugs, my alchohol. I finally quit drinking and now I keep relapsing. I will never be able to except that I won’t know what was real, if she ment what she said at least once if she was really attracted or disgusted by me. I never had anyone else that felt the same, that felt so real yet it wasn’t, she lied to other guys abt me to get them to fuck her. I just wish I knew there was any moment any conversation any time staring eye to eye that it ment something not just to me but to her

Money, fuck why am I so bad with it. I am in such a financial hole right now and it's because I make poor financial decisions. My husband gave me a bunch of money this month and i got a bonus but it's already all gone on bills. Disappeared into the ether. I'm really disappointed in myself for being such an idiot with money. I just make bad decisions after bad decisions. It hurts you know. I'm in my late 30s and I still don't have my shit together. I'm not an addict, I don't drink, gamble etc I don't go out partying. I'm just an idiot who shoves stuff on credit cards and PayPal etc just small things but they really add up in the background. I clear the balance most months but this month I couldn't and I'm just so annoyed with myself.

Already gave an ultimatum shouldn’t have to, been almost 5 years and every time I talk marriage he says it’s because I’m still “too immature” and he doesn’t know if he wants a permanent with someone who is immature. I am unemployed, mainly because I am slightly disabled, working on myself, I’m in the healing process. we live with my mother who puts a roof over me, I put a roof over him letting him stay in my house. He says I don’t do anything for him yet I drive him to work 1 hour there 1 hour back, sometimes he gets rides but I still have to wake to his schedule, I do all the shopping and make sure we have food, I don’t do laundry he does it on his days off and I make sure to keep the house clean. I don’t see my fault here.. I just want someone who I can marry, have a house with, and have little ones.. I’m halfway through 23 seeing old friends have a life I wish I could have. He won’t let us move out due to the state of the country right now but I feel like that’s not a good excuse..

This is kind of a shitty week. It was my birthday Sunday, and my parents kind of forgot a little, but then remembered, and a lot of friends didn't remember either. Sometimes I feel fucking invisible to people, like I mean nothing, and I'm just a backup or the fat friend there for them to take their emotions out on. Speaking of which, my body dysphoria is getting so fucking bad, and I hate my body, and I'm genuinely trying to become anorexic because why am I so fat? Along with one of my only friends at my new school ditched me to hang out with some other people because she wants to make her way into the theater department, and she just never tries to include me or help me make friends or fit in; she's kind of a shitty friend. no one really talks to me at my new school, liam does, though. hes super nice and i cant tell if i like him or not because hes religious and i already have enough trauma, not to mention that shitty friend is his stepsister.