I've (F) been in a tumultuous relationship with (NB) for almost a year. I did a lot to try and work with this person and make the relationship enjoyable and smooth. At this point it just seems like a lot of wasted time, effort and tears. There was an older woman I became close with before the relationship, but there were a lot of factors that I feel it wouldn't be good for either of us to become closer. Now she hangs out with another woman and I'm suddenly jealous. I miss when we would go out and have fun but she doesn't have as much time for me anymore. Its my fault because work/school/life took almost all of my time and I couldn't hang as much. I feel like a shitty friend and that my relationship got in the way of us. I feel worse now because my partner actually seems like they're making an active effort, but I just feel jaded because to get there it felt like I had to pull teeth. I'm in love with the woman and I feel like an awful person-I don't feel as strongly about my partner.