I'm starting to accept that I have been through incest and its difficult. I already have sexual based OCD and irrational fears, from other sexual trauma. It makes me feel like what happened to me makes me disgusting or wrong or a degenerate. I asked for one of them to happen even though I was a kid and they should have said no to me. They can apologize to God and be forgiven and never feel guilty for it again, but no matter how many times I ask to be forgiven I am still left with a pit in my stomach and an impossible to soothe ache in my soul. It feels like it is the mark of the beast. Where if you don't accept it as reality, you will be killed and condemned forever. Incest, CO/CSA, and other forms of child grooming and sexual abuse feels like the mark of the beast....I can never be clean again or get rid of it once it's happened. I feel like my mind and soul were raped.