TW: suicide, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, ED's, family issues, blades ok so basically i'm ranting and venting at midnight so here goes ig (i suck at collecting thoughts sry) so basically i cannot do ts anymore, my younger brother has ADHD, Autism and anger issues and is constantly fighting with my parent and guardian, and i can't take it anymore, i also don't feel anything but sadness so that's when my pencil sharpener comes in handy. i've been clean for just under a month as i lost all my blades and can't find any sharpeners, but now i've given myself an ugly ass scar on my left wrist that is VERY VISIBLE. so atp i've tried ending it too many times. the thing is, recently, i have set dates yet chickened out every time it comes around. i have a way, i just get scared, yet i'm not when finishing my notes. also, i've stopped caring about food. that's been sidelined and i don't fucking care anymore. sorry if this is triggering but i did put trigger warnings, thank you for reading <3