I’m tired of being the eldest child. I feel like a psychopath. I get mad so easily and my parents can’t accept I can’t handle certain things like sounds or textures or anything ugh I’m just so tired and my sisters won’t even listen to me and be better, they won’t stop making me scare them or shout at them with the intention of getting them to do good but in reality I’m just being a toxic sister. My youngest sister is scared of me. I don’t want to live a life where I’m even more of a monster than I already know. I always feel like a burden and I hate myself and everything just isn’t going my way. Maybe I should just go to a mental hospital. I regret ever scaring my sisters with fake tales or shouting at them or ever hitting them. I’m such a bad person. I am always so paranoid and I feel like I do deserve people ever ending up hating me. I know people say they love me but why the hell do I still have this feeling that I don’t belong??? I hate myself and don’t want to go to hell. Sorry.