I'm really, really scared of 10th grade, I'm scared of school, what if I start falling into the same void like last year? Think the same thoughts I have like "I want to kill myself", "this is too hard", "I can't do this I want to cry." What if I cry as many times as I did last year? What if Math genuinely becomes another reason I would want to quit? I'm terrified, I'm terrified of what will happen in the new school, will people like me? Or will they despise the fact I'm even alive? I don't want to go to school, I don't want to suffer the same anxiety I suffered from again, the pressure of schoolwork pushing down on my shoulders, feeling the anxiety get stuck in my throat and heart, I don't want to feel my heartbeat going haywire as I start to breathe heavily and cry, I really don't want that, I want it to stay like how it is now, searching for a job, no longer panicking over what X equals or when is the next exam, I want it to stay like now, just peacefully laying in bed with my cats