i have been dating my partner for 3 years and obsess over his ex. i asked him on a date without really knowing him and we became official after that. i only learned after that he had a long distance girlfriend of 2+ years that he just met in person for the first time a few months before. he said their relationship made him feel trapped and he was emotionally checked out. i cant imagine what it must have been like for her to so suddenly lose her long term boyfriend because of me. i would have been devastated. i feel guilty and still compare our relationship to theirs, even though im older than her and my partner says he is committed to marrying me one day. sometimes i worry i will lose him how i gained him, suddenly.