I feel like i don't have a best friend i can rely on. i have very few friends to begin with (many people in my school hate me). my closest friends are best friends with each other and would rather spend time together than with me. my other close friend talks shit about me behind my back sometimes and is friends with someone who used to bully me and she defends it like "I'm just friends with everyone, and she didn't do anything to me". they talked shit about me with each other. my only other friend in my grade is moving to another school and we've grown apart in the past 6 months. i have one more friend but she's a year younger than me so we aren't in classes together and she rarely hangs out with me. i just need someone who actually enjoys my presence and initiates conversations because honestly i just feel so alone. as well as those things i really struggle with self esteem/body image and i'm always worried about my appearance. i cant even leave the house without makeup on.