i feel so ashamed of myself that it feels like my chest is caving in. months ago i made the stupidest decision of my life and chose my girlfriend of nine months over my best friend of four years. i didn’t even do it on purpose. i just said one wrong thing and it spiraled just like that. now, months later, i’m stuck in a relationship i hate and i hurt the only person i could’ve talked to about it. it is 5:30 in the morning and i just sent a stupid desperate text asking if i can apologize properly. i could never tell my girlfriend this because she hates that friend so much. it’s weighed on me ever since and tonight it just became too much to keep in. i feel like i am going to puke and my life seems so hopeless now. i chose a girl i now can’t stand over my literal platonic soulmate and i’m suffering my own natural consequences. i truly feel like the worst person in the world