I know I'm meant to stay miserable. It's what I wished for, just so I can finally get the sweet release of death. I'm crying so bad. I want the universe to take me already. I have no will to live anymore and I am hesitating to do it with my own hands because I'm naturally a coward. Please give me terminal illness so I can finally prepare and rest. I can't do this anymore it hurts. I don't want to live longer. I've always stayed miserable and hopeless for my entire life. I don't want to keep living anymore. I give up. Please please please let me die a natural death. Let me die from terminal illness. If I can afford euthanasia, I would do it in an instant.