i think ive always been a person with few regrets. or at least i try not to feel regretful. this morning my family got news that my grandpa died at 12am. our scheduled flight is tonight. we missed him by a day. just a day. and im not even close to my grandpa but. i had told my dad that i wanted to go back home earlier and if i fought more for that, would he have seen him again? if i had argued more to leave earlier would we at least have been able to say bye? but see the problem is thats my only feeling in this whole thing. i dont feel sad mad or anything really. im just fucking thinking of what if we had left earlier. im just thinking. and i think that i feel bad for not feeling bad but thats also only a thought.